He slammed on his brakes
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I saw my client race through the parking lot and slam on his brakes. He jumped out of his car and completely forgot to say hi to me. He just rushed straight into the studio. Life was happening, and I knew right away he was in total turmoil. He looked right at me and said, "I don't want to do that. I just want to go for a run." He wanted to get out there and get it done without stretching. It's like a lot of people who refuse to stretch. They feel like they don't have time to slow down. They think because the world is moving so fast, they'll lose their advantage if they take a pause. So, I just watched him spin. He wasn't present at all. He was totally distracted and replaying all his problems. It highlighted a really important question for me. What do you do when you're practicing your breathing and staying calm, but everyone around you is spinning? You might feel like you need to step in and tell them what to do. But I've learned the hard way that humans hate being told what to do. Everybody craves autonomy. From a toddler to your wife, nobody likes being bossed around. The reason I'm sharing this with you is because the best way to help someone is to simply model the change. We've got to leverage our mirror neurons. When you look calm, the people around you will naturally calm down. If they're still spinning and talking a hundred miles an hour, just slow down and watch them. Are they mouth breathing? Are their pupils dilated? Are they holding their breath? Are their chest and shoulders moving up and down? If they are, know that they're seeing red... Nothing you say will help them, but everything you do will. Breathe and be calm without judging them. I don't even talk about breathing with my clients when they get like this. I just focus on modeling the physical movement of the diaphragm. I do a five-second pull-down inhale through the nose, and then I just let it go. Slow down your own frequency so you can help them find theirs. Let's make it happen today.
PS: I mentioned earlier that nobody likes being bossed around, especially your wife. Seriously, take it from me, as the host of a true crime podcast, Forensic Tales you learn very quickly to just breathe, stay calm, and model good behavior... |